Desiring God's Will

Tonight at the worship we were singing a song called "Your Majesty is More" by Karyn Baker. Here are the lyrics:

Each day there's a struggle in my heart
Between my desires and your throne
I long for the day when I will truly say
That my will is yours

I see that your gentle eyes look down on me
Each time that I fight to die for you
I yearn for the strength to see You glorified
In all I do

(Because) Your majesty is more than all that I could ever hope for
Your pleasure means much more to me than mine
I let all my dreams fall pale in the presence of Your glory
Joining with the angels I will bow

If I have gathered any earthly crowns of gold
I know that it's all because of You
I choose to set them down and dress your feet
And start anew

This is something that I am struggling with. My desires and what God wants. For example, I want to be in Summerland. I hate it here and really don't want to be in this city anymore. I am so tired of the same old same old. I want to be in Summerland with my other friends. I love my friends here, don't get me wrong, but I just really want to be with my friends in Summerland. I just really want to be out of the city and live the country life. I guess I am a country girl at heart because when i went to Summerland I didn't want to come home because I loved everythng about Summerland: the country feel, the courtesy, the friendliness, the friends, everything. So ya, I am sorta fighting God on this one. Not really fighting, but basically asking why he wants me here.

A while ago when I came back from Summerland I was praying to God to see what he wanted me to do: whether it be drop out of school to move to summerland, or stay here. God told me to stay here for now. There is so much he wants me to do at my home corps and the surrounding area. Since RAW I have been heavily involved with mission stuff and ministry in the church. I am thoroughly enjoying it, but I feel i want something more. But thats MY desire, not God's. God wants me to stay here and carry out his work here.

I apologize to those english teachers or former english teachers that read my blog lately because they seem to just be my thoughts and they aren't in any organized fashion.

My apologies!

PS. I ask a prayer of you all. I am currently a) looking for a job, the one i had the interview turned out to be a complete sham, they mislead me...but anyways.. oh well... and b) for the courage to speak the word of God to my friends without worrying that they are going to push me away or not talk to me.

God Bless!